Want to learn about what it's like to be a cripple. Want to learn however, I really one to grasp this one achievement. I have to make an impact and meet the goals I promised myself on New Year’s Revolution. Right now in my life, I’ll just be focusing on my goals. I can’t chase down people, I need them to miss me. I’m not quite sure what that means at the moment but, god will tell me why it was meant to be this way. These things that occur to me is telling me something. I wronged people, I did things to make them run the other direction. I wouldn’t regret writing this simply because, Everybody feels a way. Yes the words i’ve wrote were hurtful but, that was how I was feeling at that moment in time. Poems is what gets me to write down how I feel. I think too much to solve but really I overreact. Don’t screw up something that doesn’t need any attachments. Cherish the time you have now before it’s too late. I didn’t reach a quarter of my life yet and I’m considering just ending it right here? Over people? Like I said earlier, they come and go. Well honestly, life has more to what I think it has. Not being happy, not having self worth and just people walking all over me, I wasn’t confident, I felt like giving up would just relieve this pain that I’m having. Suicide was on my mind for the past 4 years of life. I just couldn’t indulge that in my system. There will be times where people come and go but that’s just how life works.
I wonder, how can the future be bright if the present isn’t? To build a future, you need to build a present. I stress and I got moody just thinking of the future. Not everyone is how you interpret them to be. In life, you cannot always get what you want to receive. (reference to suicide))Ī message to my past self: This poem expresses the mood I been feeling. If the snake wins, I'd fall off the ladder and my life comes tumbling down. They manipulate me, yet, I won't let them use me for their needs. The snakes (the ones who were special to me) just try to bring me down. (I titled this "snakes and ladders" because, my life is basically the ladder, as I age, I climb up and up. I tried to fix every bits of this friendship and yet the pieces come back, falling down I trusted you with a secret that I've never told anyone. We've only known each other for quite awhile and our friendship ended that fast You didn't seem to open up to me, reminds me of a friendship I've had in the past You said you don't deserve me well, you were right on the spot. I made the effort to see you yet, you don't realize what you've got I feel this chip tumble down on my shoulder even though it's just one chip You don't see the value in me as a friend, you've made me have a guilt trip I've been considered your last option or an impromptu. I've known from the beginning, I wouldn't be an essential to your life
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